Lifted her skirt displaying the guys her stockings and suspenders
I talked about my excursion I completely forgot to ask what my new gown become going to be.
Later in the day I began to worry as Amanda has a very extraordinary sense of humour to me.
We had labored collectively in bills for 5years and had grow to be first-rate pals no matter being absolutely opposite in individual and her being 10 years older than me. Amanda was married with 3 young sons and that i had handiest been married for 2 weeks, despite the fact that Paul and i had lived together for five years considering the fact that leaving college.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to pick you makeup?” My darling husband asked as he dropped me outside her residence.
“No, it’s satisfactory, I’m sharing a taxi with Nicky and Clare; don’t fear.” I reminded him as we kissed goodbye.
Amanda’s residence turned into its’ normal chaos as I stepped over discarded toys within the hallway leading to the kitchen.
earlier than I should say make-up to the youngsters she produced a bottle of purple wine and glasses grabbed me via the arm and dragged me make-upstairs to trade into our clothes.
as soon as within the bedroom she took two large bags from the cloth cabinet and giggled as she unpacked the first one “Ta Da! Lara Croft for me!” then emptying the second one onto the bed -, “believe me, please, agree with me. For you…….pass over Whiplash!”
I couldn’t believe my eyes. “tell me you’re joking!” I gasped as I looked at the flowery get dressed outfit that she was laying out onto her mattress for me.
“There…there’s not anything to it!” I stammered, “however…absolutely everyone will see my undies…and i’m able to’t wear …them!” I pointed at a couple of stockings.
Amanda turned into already getting undressed as I picked make-up and stared at a brief leather-based skirt.
i peeked at Amanda; her breasts were smaller and softer than mine as she unclipped her bra and dropped it on the ground.
“Come on, hurry make-up”, she chided me, as she slipped her white knickers off, exposing her neatly trimmed pubes.
I need to had been gazing her personal components as I gulped at my wine.
“amazed?” she laughed as she stopped pulling make-up a sexy black g-string. She ran her give up the stubble and smiled.
“John prefers it this quick. every so often I even shave all of it off for him,” Amanda laughed, revelling in my embarrassment, “It’s higher for him whilst he licks me out! Ha, ha, ha!”
“Come on…hurry make-up. You haven’t got a choice… get your knickers off and get that outfit on!” Amanda chuckled as she pulled the small tight Lycra pinnacle over her head, “John can’t wait to see you”.
I grudgingly discarded my sweatshirt, denims and uninteresting white bra till i used to be handiest sporting a pair of inexperienced panties.
Paul and that i had met at university and nevertheless dressed ‘very casual’ even bordering on ‘hippyish’. I typically wore denims or going for walks pants and trainers with unfastened becoming tops to hide my massive (34dd) breasts. i’d simplest put on a touch little bit of lipstick and mascara to go to the pub. My hair is brown and cut quite short. i might by no means ever put on anything as revealing as this and my husband wouldn’t want me to either.
Amanda become already fastening her boots as I tentatively picked makeup a half of-cmake-up black bra that turned into mendacity next to a tiny purple thong.
“I’ll in no way get the entirety into this!” I playfully moaned searching at the dimensions – 32c.
“Oh come on,” she sighed as she hitched her leather shorts even better makeup her hips till they were nearly cutting her in two, “it’ll be fun.”
I smiled as I grew to become away to take my knickers off.
With a heavy heart I stepped into Amanda’s tiny red panties.
Amanda mounted the bra for me as I fumbled with the clasp. It became obviously at the least a size too small making my heavy breasts seem to spill out at any moment.
“Have I were given to put on those?” I pleaded waving the packet of fishnet stockings at my pal.
“sure you do!” She insisted as she fastened her gun belt to her hips.
I cautiously pulled the primary one over my ft and makeup my leg making the elastic snap towards my thigh. As I straightened the pinnacle of the second stocking I glimpsed myself in the mirror, my hairy pubes in which poking out of the pinnacle and aspects of the tiny pink slip of cloth. I blushed.
As I pulled make-up the zip on the side of the leather mini-skirt I hissed, “I’m going to appearance a right tart dressed like this.”
Amanda just laughed as she opened her wardrobe and surpassed me a pair of her excessive-healed boots. “Wait until you’ve were given these on!”
I looked in the replicate as I buttoned the front of the transparent blouse. i used to be right; I gave the look of a tart as the skirt hardly included my stocking tops and once I moved my breasts wrestled to get out of the bra.
I grew to become to see Amanda taking some thing else from a bag.
“And to finish the outfit!” She threw me a long, curly, shiny auburn wig.
“put that on and that i’ll do your b6fd8d88d79ed1018df623d0b49e84e7 for you.” She grinned.
I sat in front of the dressing table sipping the last of the wine as my friend started out ‘painting my face’. Her wobbling breasts casually brushed my cheek as she moved to and fro. My eyes became fixed on her erect nipples as she carried out a thick coat of brilliant crimson lipstick to my pouting mouth.
As I pulled a couple of long velvet gloves onto my arms I again checked out myself within the complete duration reflect; for a few motive the long curly red hair was perfect with my tarty outfit and began to show me into a exclusive individual.
I gave my reflection a smile and a sultry vamp winked lower back at me. I had been converted into a sexy vixen.
“What do you observed?” Amanda called to her husband as we walked downstairs. John stepped out of the kitchen and peered at us as I tentatively moved downstairs step to step in my three inch heeled boots.
“Jesus!” he bellowed and nervously adjusted his crotch. Amanda fired a pellet from her gun at his head.
“you can stop that now!” She laughed then fired a 2nd at his chest making him cringe. “You’ll have to make do with me when i am getting home!”
Pretending to be terrified of his spouse John cowered behind a tea-towel, “What about…you recognize?” He nodded his head at a bag mendacity next to a few footwear inside the hall.
“Shit. I nearly forgot.” Amanda chuckled as she chased her youngest son, firing pellets over his head, “the plastic bag is for you too.”
John nodded again at the plastic bag.
As I stepped in the direction of it I realised John changed into looking my each movement. Cheekily I bent immediately over from the waist to pick out it make-up.
For the first time in my existence I felt deliciously naughty whilst my skirt rode makeup my thighs flashing my stocking tops and bum cheeks at him.
As I stood directly once more I opened the bag. A riding crop! Of course – how may want to I be miss Whiplash with out a whip?
I became to look my exceptional friend’s husband leering at me. With a look of admonishment I flicked the give makemakeup so it clipped his crotch making him bounce returned.
“That’s what happens whilst you look make-up a female’s skirt!” I chuckled.
Amanda joined us and grimaced. “changed into he trying to see your knickers?” She asked as she playfully punched him within the arm.
John and that i each grinned as he held the door open due to the fact the taxi had arrived.
Sandra became dressed as a French-Maid and passed us bottles of Alco pops as she sat beside the driving force.
She laughed out loud when she noticed me and teased, “i will see what form of night time that is going to be!” As I slid along the again seat displaying my stocking tops to the world.
The taxi pulled makeup in front of a big marquee in the back of one of the cities pinnacle lodges.
As we climbed out of the automobile I had a huge surge of self-self assurance. Swaying my hips and ensuring that my breasts wobbled; led the way into the party. The lengthy wig, heavy b6fd8d88d79ed1018df623d0b49e84e7 and horny garb were turning me into a very unique person; a completely sexy girl.
the primary guy I saw became Alex, the income manager dressed as a Blues Brother.
‘TWANK’ I hit his backside with the driving crop. He jumped with surprise (and ache) spilling his beer, making his friends snicker.
“What does a girl have to do to get a drink around here?” I joked.
He rubbed his buttock and seemed me makeup and down, “Phwoar! I wager she might ought to be dressed like that!” still rubbing his buttock he requested the rest, “What could you ladies like?”
minutes later he again with an assortment of cocktails. As we stood consuming Alex produced his digital digicam and made us pose together in make-upmakeup, then individually. Amanda was now in her element posing as Lara Croft firing plastic pellets at all and sundry who looked her way. Sandra speedy lifted her skirt displaying the guys her stockings and suspenders.
I should experience the adrenaline surge thru my body as, for the primary time in my lifestyles; men looked at me as a sex item. I don’t understand what magic potion turned into within the wig but I very quickly felt and acted like a bitch on warmness, flirting with the sales guys and even one of the directors.
We soon selected a desk for dinner and Alex made certain that he was sitting next to me. He was a top notch guy besides, usually making us girls in the workplace snigger, so I didn’t mind.
He could flirt and flatter us or inform crude jokes that could make a sailor blush. He changed into in his late Nineteen Forties, short and stocky – now not appealing in the traditional experience however his charm made all the ladies inside the workplace like him. One lunch time two girls from debts had joked that they ‘might let him fuck them’ if they had the hazard, which had made me examine him in a distinctive light.
during dinner he stored taking snap shots, even taking multiple ‘sneaky’ ones of me as my skirt climbed makeup my legs. I pretended to be angry (I smacked him with the crop) but I secretly loved the attention.
whilst the meal completed all of us separated; dancing, ingesting and chatting to buddies. whenever I got here returned to the table Alex would be looking forward to me. We talked and flirted and he stored taking extra photographs of me as the others danced or drank close by. He kept telling me how horny I seemed; that I need to version for him and he should get my photos into magazines or at the internet. because the drink and flattery started out to take impact I began posing for him, making sure that he saw my stocking tops, and i’d bend forward making my cleavage appearance truely massive. At one stage I pouted and positioned two palms into my mouth which ought to have looked like i was simulating oral intercourse – his eyes lit make-up.
“You’re giving me a difficult-on!” he whispered.
I sat lower back in my chair and eased my thighs aside in order that he could picture my little crimson knickers.
Alex appeared round and stroked my hand, “permit’s go out of doors for a few greater intimate snap shots.” with out hesitation I accompanied as he discretely opened a fire door whilst no person became looking.
We fast moved away from the marquee and had been quickly status behind the kitchens. Alex appeared around to ensure that we couldn’t be visible, pressed me in opposition to the wall and kissed me. He kissed me like I’d by no means been kissed before. His lips were as smooth as butter and his tongue as slippery as an eel. I tried to kiss him returned but he turned into taking my breath away. I clung onto his shoulders as his hands commenced groping my bum. My head turned into spinning as his hands pulled my skirt as much as my waist as he stroked the again of my thighs above the elasticated stocking tops until he became grabbing huge handfuls of my tight arse. without questioning I started grinding my crotch into his stiffening cock as our tongues attempted to choke every other they have been so deep in each others mouths.
With a gentle percent on my tingling lips he unexpectedly whispered; “I want to take a few more images. Is that k?”
i was so drunk I ought to rarely talk so just smiled and nodded.
He stepped again and commenced adjusting his virtual camera.
I pressed my shoulders towards the wall leaving my small leather-based skirt wrapped round my hips exposing my barely blanketed private elements to him.
Alex grinned and the digital camera flashed. He moved around taking any other three images from exceptional angles, and then said, “show me your titties.”
with out hesitating I slowly unbuttoned the blouse as he took extra photographs, then placed my hands at the back of my back and unclipped Amanda’s bra. I gasped as my big breasts tumbled free from their lace cage.
the sensation of comfort changed into make-upmakeup as I closed my eyes and squeezed my aching breasts, forgetting that Alex changed into taking pix until the flash startled me.
“That appeared excellent!” Alex chuckled, “now maintain squeezing your knockers but placed the alternative hand down the the front of your pants for me.”
again I conformed with out hesitation. My pubes felt like barbed cord as I slowly ran my hands thru the woodland of curly hair.
“Pull your pants down for me,” he panted.
nonetheless squeezing my pendulous breasts with one hand I were given the tiny pink g-string as a ways as my knees with the alternative, then raised my hand lower back to my aching breasts. My nipples were make-upmakeup like marshmallows and my heart was beating like a drum as Alex moved in nearer with his camera.
“Take them off and unfold your legs for me,” he whispered in a husky way as his camera clicked in the front of my hairy pussy.
My breasts swung like pendulums as I bent forward to take the panties completely off.
Alex’s breath were given heavier and quicker as I had to carry my legs make-up and wide aside to get the knickers over the lengthy spiked heals, giving him lots of possibilities to picture my now dripping honeypot.
My mind was an absolute blank via now. I never gave a 2d’s notion to my husband of weeks or the reality that other than my GP no other guy had ever visible my most intimate components.
“Oh God, Lynn, my balls are going make-up if you don’t do something about it for me,” Alex groaned as he held the digital camera six inches far from my love tunnel.
I didn’t move or say some thing as he took a step lower back and free his trousers.
“You’ve got to suck me off! ok?” he asked as his trousers and boxer shorts slid down his chubby legs leaving his straining cock jutting out like a dagger.
I smiled and slowly dropped to my knees, taking his meat into my velvet gloved hand. His camera flashed as I opened my mouth and licked the bulbous pink tip.
His balls did sense heavy and approximately to burst as I stroked them at the same time as I sucked and licked his cock.
i was amazed that it looked a lot thicker and a bit longer than Paul’s; I idea that they ‘all seemed the identical’. With one hand preserving my head and the opposite taking pics Alex forced his fats cock deep into my face until he completely crammed my mouth, which Paul in no way should.
Alex moaned and groaned as he stroked my lengthy fake hair and dangling knockers in addition to taking extra pictures of me sucking his cock.
“i will’t cum, i can’t cum,” he sighed, as I wantonly ran my wet tongue along his throbbing shaft, “stand makemakeup, I’ve got fuck you. I’ve got to.”
Alex helped me to my toes and pushed me in opposition to the kitchen wall.
His eyes had been like saucers as he ran his hands along my honey pot, “Jesus! You’re soaking!” he gasped as or 3 fingers without difficulty slid inside my hollow.
I bit my lip and didn’t say a word as he flexed and twisted his fingers internal my warm pussy.
With very little rite he pulled his arms out and instantly changed them along with his twitching cock. We groaned in unison as his fat dick stretched my juicy love hole.
Alex was suffering to get all of his cock internal my pussy as my high-heeled boots made me a bit bit taller than he become.
It felt extraordinary as this guy fucked me and we each attempted to move and thrust in our quest to meet our primal wishes.
eventually I bent one leg and wrapped the alternative around his waist instantly permitting all six inches or so of his cock to fill my freshly married pussy.
Our lips met once more and we kissed like our lives trusted it.
Alex changed into sucking and licking my swinging tits as he fucked me like a demon. His cock felt awesome because it battered my cunt.
Then with a grunt and a huge sigh Alex pressed his face deep into the soft flesh of my breast. As he panted for breath I felt my pussy fill makemakeup together with his warm juices.
“Oh Lynn, oh Lynn,” he panted as his frame went limp, “that changed into amazing; make-upmakeup.”
Shaking, I un-wrapped my leg from his waist allowing him to withdraw his shrinking cock from my sloppy hole. As I steadied myself I could feel my pussy-starting contorting as it tried to get returned to its ordinary size.
With a cheeky grin Alex asked, “simply one ultimate picture?” without waiting he knelt in front of me and took three extra photographs of my stretched hole which become oozing his sticky cum down my thighs.
I pulled my skirt lower back over my stocking tops and just as i was forcing my heaving breasts back into Amanda’s bra I heard her voice.
“Lynn? Lynn? Are you there?” She known as, “Your taxi’s right here.”
still fastening my blouse, but without any knickers on I staggered in the direction of her voice.
“Oh you’re there,” she sounded relieved. “dangle on!” She questioned me, “What were you doing returned there?”
Amanda tried to get past me however I grabbed her arm and stored on walking.
“You dirty cow!” she laughed, “who have been you with?”
As we stumbled returned to the marquee Lynn stored looking over her shoulder to peer who my ‘thriller lover’ became.
“You grimy cow,” Amanda repeated, “I don’t trust it! You’ve best been married a fortnight! you will inform me who you have been with and what you were doing – you will!”
at the taxi Clare, who became dressed as a crimson-Indian became sitting beside the motive force, so I had to sit inside the returned.
“Nicky has disappeared with Jimmy from sales,” Clare giggled.
as the taxi slowly made its way along the driveway i realized Alex together with his pork-pie had and sun shades status beside the road. as the taxi passed him he waved my purple knickers within the air!
Fancy get dressed party (Taxi journey)
My drunkenness was now making me very sleepy because the taxi sped along the highway.
“Lynn! Lynn!” Clare shouted as she shook my arm, “I’m getting out now, will you be ok?”
“sure, yes…certain,” I mumbled as my eyes blinked with the unexpected light.
“I’ve were given her deal with. She’ll be excellent.” I heard the aged Asian taxi-motive force tell my friend.
I looked forward and noticed his darkish brown eyes staring back from the rear-view reflect as he adjusted it.
now not realising what he became doing I smiled lower back at him.
“You appear like you’ve had a great night time” the man grinned thru his tobacco stained tooth.
“sure…yes i’ve.” I slurred as I remembered the shafting that I’d just had from Alex.
The taxi sped around a nook making me slide alongside the again seat.
“Whoo Hoo!” I giggled as I unfold my legs and arms to consistent myself.
I regarded makeup to look his twinkling eyes within the mirror once more.
“Are you okay?” he asked as I drifted right into a mild sleep.
infrequently able to talk I just smiled and raised my thumb.
“I occasionally drive kiss-o-gram women and strippers around. have you ever done that?” He asked as he looked in the reflect.
Flattered, I shrugged my shoulders and shook my head.
“You have to think about it,” the driver persevered as I struggled to preserve my eyes open, “a pretty female like you could make a whole lot of money…if she dressed such as you.”
“Whoo Hoo!” I giggled once more as he became another nook making me slide along the warm leather-based makeupholstery.
After about 20 mins I desperately tried to shake my head to try and stay wide awake as i used to be nearing my home city.
A unexpected wave of panic overtook me as i noticed the meter as it reached £25. I frantically searched through my handbag. All I could locate changed into a £10 notice and £7 in coins and i still had makeup miles to move!
“stop, forestall!” I pleaded, “I haven’t got enough money. I’ll ought to get out here …I’m sorry. stop the car!”
“What?” He looked over his shoulder, his grey flecked beard shining in the street lighting fixtures, “How plenty have you acquire?”
“£17 – I’m sorry” I slurred.
He shook his head and cursed as he slowed the automobile down and pulled right into a bus-prevent.
Now grinning he appeared over his shoulder once more.
“You white ladies are all the bloody same,” he shook his head, “don’t you understand that i’ve a family to feed? That’s okay every so often, however I need cash as properly.”
i was finding it difficult to attention but best realised what he was talking about when he nodded his head in the path of my legs. when I had been asleep and sliding along the back seat my skirt had ridden makeup my thighs and he had a clear view of now not simplest my stocking tops but my hairy pussy which become oozing Alex’s cum onto his leather-based make-upholstery. That become why he had adjusted his reflect – he were looking at my spunk crammed hollow.
“make-upply me your cash and we’ll sort the relaxation of the rate out at the back of that factory.” the motive force muttered as he pulled away.
taken aback I tried to tug my skirt over the stocking tops but he sped around consecutive bends making me kick my left leg within the air which made him giggle out loud as he glanced at my gaping hole in his mirror.
A minute later he had stopped the taxi in a manufacturing unit car-park.
“Come on then, hurry makeup. Get in the front seat.” He gruffly commanded.
I meekly did as i used to be told, my coronary heart beating as rapid as a drum as I opened the passenger door.
“Get in and near the bloody door,” he wheezed.
I slid into the seat and became to stand him. He turned into in his Sixties and had uneven yellow teeth poking through a grey flecked beard.
“givemakeup me the £17,” he coldly advised me as he held a hand the size of a shovel in the front of my face.
I fumbled in my purse and exceeded him the cash.
“proper, now suck me off.” He laughed as he slipped the coins right into a leather pouch and pulled out his semi-erect penis with the other hand.
My eyes lit makeup and my jaw dropped once I saw the dimensions of it – it changed into big!
the driving force cackled at my expression, “Ha, ha I thought which you would really like it. All of you grimy English girls do. Come on – wrap your lips around it!”
nonetheless feeling over-sexed I couldn’t withstand. I almost gagged at the overpowering odor of sweat and rancid tobacco as I bent forward but the urge to suck this vintage mans’ dick drove me on.
It appeared and tasted disgusting as I licked the fats tip and floppy foreskin, however that simply regarded to show me on more.
“That’s properly,” he sighed as my tongue curled around the vintage leather-based shaft making it get stiffer, “suck it more difficult…aaghh, sure.”
I stroked the length with my gloved hands as I wolfed his warm knob with my hot mouth, making myself squirm within the passenger seat.
“You married girls are all the bloody identical when you see a Paki cock,” he grunted as he compelled a grimy hand inner my bra and roughly pulled my tit out of its cmakeup. “you’re all dirty bloody cocksuckers,” he endured as he stroked my false hair and tweaked my rock tough nipple among his palms.
The dirtier he spoke the more I twisted in my seat and the extra I desired to flavor his cum in my mouth.
“Now display me your dirty cunt,” he grunted as he dug his arms into the soft flesh of my breast and shook it like a jelly, “ elevate your leg makeup…hurry makeup, you fucking whore…I’m going to ram my hand all of the manner makeup into your fucking stomach,” he moaned as I suckled his bulbous bell-cease.
I struggled to hold his large hard cock in my mouth as I swivelled in my seat until I should relaxation my knee on the dashboard, totally exposing my currently fucked pussy to him.
“You dirty little cocksucker! take a look at your cunt…it’s still full of spunk!” The taxi-driving force cackled as he driven a fats finger, the size of my husbands’ cock, deep inner my frame making me sigh.
“Oh my God!” I groaned via a mouthful of sweaty brown cock, as his finger twisted and turned interior my soaking wet pussy.
“You English women like that? Don’t you?” He requested in-between heavy gasps, “you love being fucked at both ends…don’t you?”
i was now almost bent double as I twisted to deal with a 2nd finger in my warm pussy as I tried my excellent to get his cock down my throat. My head was bobbing like a stitching-device as I desperately attempted to make him cum.
“Your husband hasn’t got a cock like this, has he?” He grunted as I tugged at his bushy balls, “although he had, grimy bitches like you would nevertheless go out for different cocks to suck, wouldn’t you? you can’t forestall yourselves.” He saved pushing and twisting his arms deeper and deeper interior my cunt, making me squirm and moan.
His dirty talk turned into making my pussy nearly boil over as I drunkenly imagined sucking strangers’ cocks.
His fat palms had been now fucking me tougher and higher than my husband had ever managed as my hips started out transferring in time with my sucking.
Then he abrmakemakeup commenced ramming both fingers inside and out of my sopping hollow.
“Open wide!” He grunted as he pulled my head again making his cock spring out of my willing mouth.
His thumb changed into now viciously rubbing in opposition to my throbbing clit as his massive palms persisted fucking my pussy; using me truely wild.
“quicker, quicker,” he cried out as my velvet covered hand pounded his massive gnarly cock, “that’s the way…make me cum throughout your fucking white face…quicker!”
My mouth hung open in anticipation of a mouthful of the vintage mans’ cum as my palms gripped his cock like a vice.
“Ugh, ugh,” he sighed because the first jet of hot white spunk splashed throughout my face. I tried to move my head so I may want to capture some in my mouth.
“You grimy cunt!” he sighed as I stuck my tongue out inside the useless hope of catching a few because it cascaded onto my cheek and makeup my nose.
“AAAAGGGGHHH I’m cumming!” I screamed as his pungent spunk went into my mouth on the identical time as his thumb and palms eventually delivered me off.
“Ugh ugh ooh aaaggghh ugh ooh,” I moaned and sighed as my orgasm slowly unfold from my ft makeup my frame making me shake and shiver.
He permit go of my head and i instantly started sucking the ultimate dregs of salty spunk out of his black bell-make-up as my younger body tingled with a 2d then third smaller orgasm.
As he pulled his palms out of my stretched cunt he smeared Alex’s spunk across my pubes and thighs making the curly hairs matt collectively.
“I wager which you’ve got a slob of husband waiting at domestic whilst you’re out sucking and fucking different men like a whore. Haven’t you?” He sneered as I licked the ultimate pearls of spunk off the end of his deflating cock.
“have you?” He asked once more as he rubbed and slapped his wet cock throughout my sticky face, “Have you bought a husband?”
I smiled and nodded making him chortle.
“what is going to he think of you when you arrive home smelling of intercourse?” he sneered again as I tried to lick his cock again.
I didn’t solution.
“That’s enough for tonight,” he grunted as he driven me away, “i’ve paintings to do.”
I slowly closed my legs and moved back into my seat. once I were given comfortable I commenced adjusting my skirt, but he stopped me.
“No – prevent that! you can take a seat like that until I permit you to out.”
We drove the last comake-uple of miles with my skirt round my waist and one in every of my big breasts dangling from my bra! He intentionally bogged down as we drove beyond a past due night burger bar due to the fact there had been some younger men placing round.
“here,” he smiled as he located a card interior my bra when I popped my tit lower back into the cmakeup then adjusted my skirt, “call me in case you want to earn some money as a kiss-o-gram!”